And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
