I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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