I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
