Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
