and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
