My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
