so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
