Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
