I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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