Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
