I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
