I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
