come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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