I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
