Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
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Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
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Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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