The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
