It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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