Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
