I cockslap morals
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
