Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize