We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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