i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
