STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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