How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
