Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize