I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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