i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
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about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I love you.
Bad choice
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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