My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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