goodnight i made you a song goodbye
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
