so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
