my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize