she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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