we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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