he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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