Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
