You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
