Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
