I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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