I puked a lego.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
