he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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