hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
