your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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