Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize