Having a random hookup so left but love u
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
