That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize