he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
