You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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