Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
