she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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