Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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