using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
