At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize