he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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