Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
