i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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