So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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