Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
that may or may not have been my penis.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
