You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
