my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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