I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
