They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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