I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.