Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"