the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.