I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.