Where is the hickey?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet