Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
