Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  dats a huuuuuge bitch!

  (773): View more from Illinois

  who is this????

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  (248): dats a huuuuuge bitch! (773): who is this???? http://tfl.nu/bpgf
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (1027)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.

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  (405): I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation. http://tfl.nu/os3u
  Replies (13) Good night (4469) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

  (1-845): View more from New York

  Who won mens moguls?

  (845): View more from New York

  That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

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  (845): We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously? (1-845): Who won mens moguls? (845): That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude. http://tfl.nu/8mik
  Replies (63) Good night (6669) Bad night (2196)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.

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  (718): At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down. http://tfl.nu/ki6l
  Replies (18) Good night (7590) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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  (519): mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing http://tfl.nu/5ec7
  Replies (7) Good night (3928) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

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  (908): Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage. http://tfl.nu/uh3k
  Replies (14) Good night (5737) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year

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  (732): I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year http://tfl.nu/jq5i
  Replies (23) Good night (5945) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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  (724): i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that. http://tfl.nu/tj9k
  Replies (6) Good night (5565) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.

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  (516): She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her. http://tfl.nu/vneo
  Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (2958)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode

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  (352): This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode http://tfl.nu/n1t3
  Replies (10) Good night (3579) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.

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  (812): Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs. http://tfl.nu/yev1
  Replies (9) Good night (3010) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.

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  (207): I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time. http://tfl.nu/5zpy
  Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

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  (530): Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them. http://tfl.nu/oho5
  Replies (2) Good night (931) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What did he say?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!

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  (215): What did he say? (267): NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS! http://tfl.nu/60l0
  Replies (6) Good night (851) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?

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  (773): Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right? http://tfl.nu/8uh3
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (532)

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