Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
