I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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