U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
