and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
