But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
