i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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