I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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